I haven’t posted a rant in a very, very long time. I think I’m due. Plus, I need to do a little boo-hooing, woe-is-me-ing so I can get some things off my chest. Great. Are you ready? Don’t worry, I’m not going to out anyone (at least this time around)…this one is all about ME.
I have had a craptastic past two weeks. Yep, count ’em…two weeks. It seems that my little friend, vertigo, has decided to pay me a visit. And this time he doesn’t want to leave. I had an episode of vertigo about four years ago. It wasn’t terribly bad – I was still able to function and it only lasted about a week. The doctor did tell me that I may have recurrences. And that, I did. I woke up one morning, took one look at my alarm clock, couldn’t see the numbers because my eyes wouldn’t focus and I felt like I was in the belly of a capsizing ship, I knew I was in trouble. And that, my friends, is how I’ve spent the last two weeks – feeling like I’m constantly walking around on a ship…in the middle of the ocean…during a hurricane. Barf. It’s been diagnosed as Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo. Which means when my head is in a specific position it causes vertigo. Luckily, I’ve figured out that the dizziness occurs when I lean to the left…so, no leaning to the left for me. Which isn’t so cool because I’m a left-side sleeper. And a tossing and turning sleeper. Yeah. Try keeping yourself on your right side all night long. It’s not so easy. Luckily, the meds I’ve been prescribed keep me pretty much comatose during the night so I don’t move. But, they make me feel drugged during the day. Not that feeling drugged is bad, as long as it’s during the weekend when I have nothing better to do…but, during the week when I’m supposed to work…not so much fun. I’ve had to reschedule all of my clients because there is no way in hell I”m getting on a ladder. I’ve been sitting here…eating, knitting, crocheting, crafting…trying to figure out how the hell I’m going to make money while sitting on my ass. If I could get paid to eat I’d be frickin’ rich. I’m pretty sure I’m developing bed sores – or couch sores – because I’ve been sitting on the couch for what feels like FOREVER.
I was able to enjoy Thanksgiving with my family, thanks to prescription drugs. Although, I’m pretty sure I spent most of it sitting in my chair drooling and staring into space . No one minded. It was a bummer that I couldn’t partake in the wine drinking. That was a first. Oh, and when I did manage to get out of my chair I was feeling a little dizzy and bumped into the wall where my Mom had a decorative plate hanging. Needless to say, the plate ended up in a million pieces on the floor. Oops. Heh. You can’t blame the dizzy.
Anyway, to top it all off, apparently, whilst in the doctor’s office I contracted some horriblistic cold. I’m blaming it on them because I haven’t been out of the house or come into contact with any other humans in weeks. So now, not only am I dizzy, my head and chest are congested, my throat and head hurt, I have a nasty cough and I feel downright shitty. The dust and dog hair is piling up, the laundry is piling up, the dishes are piling up. It’s just an all-around mess here. And dammit, I want to get the Christmas decorations out of the attic and start decorating. Boo hoo hoo. Let’s all have a pity party for me.
Oh yeah, and then one more thing…yesterday as I walk into my laundry room (where the downstairs toilet is) I step in a pool of water. And by pool I mean the entire floor is covered in about an inch of water. Fantastic. The toilet is leaking (more like gushing, really). I shut the water supply off (praying that as I bend over I don’t go into a spin, crack my skull on the floor and drown in an inch of water) and hope that ends it. Nope. Later in the day….still more water. I then have to bail the water out of the tank, which obviously has a crack or leak of some sort. Grrrrrrrrr. I do have another bathroom – it’s upstairs – and I don’t feel like dizzily climbing stairs with my head pounding and my nasal passages burning. Again, boo hoo hoo. It’s a sad state of affairs around here.
Okay, I’m done. I feel SO much better now (not really). Thanks for listening.
Two Lazy Dogs 
wow I can’t even imagine what having that would be like. I get dizzy and crap once in awhile but not vertigo…I’m sorry 😦
and ok that sucks about the toilet. Must be crapper troubles for all of us. I dont know what the hell is wrong with mine but sometimes it won’t even fill up. I’m sure with the crap friggin well water we are on it’s all plugged up somewhere. Anyhow I’m figuring it’s going to be a new crapper for christmas. WOO yay for me!
anyhow I’m sorry you have to rant but you do a fine job of it 🙂 Love ya!
This dizzy business totally sucks. I’ll be walking around all fine and then BAM…wooosh, I start feeling like I’m spinning which in turn makes me feel like I’m going to barf. Not. Fun. At. All.
Woo hoo…looks like it’s crappers for Christmas for both of us. Yee haw.
Thanks dear, love ya too!
Damn that sucks.
As far as Thanksgiving though, I spend my time in my chair drooling and staring into space. I thought that was what Thanksgiving was about.
Get better soon.
Thanks, Evyl.
Yeah, I guess you’re right…that IS what Thanksgiving is all about. Phew. So, I didn’t miss anything. Great.
Aw, 2LD! You really HAVE had a sucky two weeks! How awful! I’m so sorry! I hope you are on the mend by the time you read this. And I am suffering from the cold thing right along with you so you aren’t alone. I’ll even share my tissues with you – TGH got me the kind that supposedly kill 99.98 % of flu and other germs. That vertigo thing really stinks. I can’t even imagine.
I hope you get the toilet situation under control too – sheesh – great timing. I’m here with my pity-party hat and kazoo for you. 🙂
Yes, yes I have. 😦 Thanks for your thoughts, Teeni. I am starting to feel less dizzy. Yipee! This cold is a bitch, though. I’m so tired of blowing my nose I just keep plugging up my nostrils with tissues. Oooo…a pity party hat and kazoo….I feel so special!!!
I know that my moms tea won’t cure you, but it will definitely soothe the savage beast that is your symptoms…so to speak.
Drooling in a chair is a fantastic pass time….I did the same thing on the couch after it was all said and done on turkey day…the cats were both sitting above me on the couch and batting at me to get me up and I never noticed….
I have a bottomless cup of tea next to me at all times. If only the tea totaling didn’t require so many bathroom trips.
Great…so I’m not alone with the drooling on Thanksgiving!
I hope the rant made you feel even a little bit better, my friend. It sounds like you need some serious TLC!
It really sucks to have to take care of a fouled-up toilet when you feel like shit. (no pun intended)
I hope the meds make it somewhat bearable. If I was there I’d tie a bib round your neck and forcefeed you vodka martinis. Maybe your head would feel like it was spinning in the opposite direction and counter-act the vertigo. Hmmm?
HUGE HUGS!
Oh, momma…vodka martinis. I am SOOO desiring a drink but know it will just make me feel shittier. Dammit. It’s one thing to have the spins from booze…it’s terrible punishment to get them without having had any alcohol.
Thanks for the hugs…I need them.
Geez that sounds awful. Hope you’re feeling much, much better now!
Thank you, thank you, I think I’m on my way to better!
Hi 2,
Sounds like you’re on easy street to me. Heck, I have to devote serious money and time to drinking to get the dizzy thing going, and then friends and family look down on me for being a drunk instead of feeling sorry for me for being sick. Then, the next day they expect me to jump in and help do stuff like WORK! Go figure.
My advise is to enjoy the dizzy train while you can, before the evil doctors manage to cure you. And you know they will because killing other peoples’ fun is their purpose in life. Crap, my MD delights in telling me, repeatedly, to stop drinking and smoking and eating good food if I want to live a long and healthy life. I don’t, but this fact just seems to fly over his head.
On the other hand, leaning right isn’t all that bad from a political perspective 🙂
Best of luck to you,
the Grit
Hey Grit,
Easy street, you say? Heh. I would LOVE to have the spins from the drink. It’s one thing to bring it on yourself, purposely…it’s another when you don’t ask for it. Maybe if I have just a bit of booze I can convince myself the dizzy is from that. Hmmm.
I’m always leaning left…far left. No amount of dizziness will get me to lean right. I’ll just sit straight up for now, no leaning. 😛
Thanks, Grit!
Oh no, I hope you feel better soon! But I’m also all about making the best of the dizzy train while you can. Watch some Clockwork Orange maybe, or try and convince random passerby that regular old bus-stop advertisements are those ‘magic pictures.’ “I can see it, I can see it!!! Can’t you? What’s wrong with you, it’s a fire hydrant! Ugh, whatever man, you can’t SEE the magic.”
You know, I just read that back to myself, and I think maybe I spend too much time downtown around weirdos 😉
I could handle the dizzy train if it didn’t make me feel like puking. But, oh no, I get the nausea/motion sickness deal, as well.
Im sorrry. I hope you will be okay soon!
Thanks, Kaylee. I’m on the mend.
I’ve managed to fall behind on reading again, so I hope this comment is finding you feeling better. I’m just getting over a cold myself, which lasted for about two and a half weeks. Vertigo? Wow, that must suck. I’ve never had to deal with anything like that. Ingrown toenails are my nemesis. 😛 Take care. 😉
I’ve fallen waaaay behind on my reading, as well. No staring at the computer screen, it makes Pukey McPukerson dizzy, too. Bleh. It’s been a sucky few weeks but I’m starting to feel somewhat ‘straightened’ out. Eew. Ingrown toenails. Nasty.
Vertigo, had it once and thought I was losing my mind. I wish I could take this misery from you because you are too damn cute to be dizzy and feeln’ like shit!
I LOL at the thought of you staring into space and drooling at Thanksgiving dinner, sorry- but I burst out laughing 😉
You are hilarious even when you rant – and please do “out” whomever- that’s just the good stuff 🙂
Oh, the vertigo, it does sucketh so much. I’m finally starting to feel better but, geesh, it’s pushing 3 weeks that I’ve been down and out. Gah!
And don’t you worry, I’ll be sharing my ‘out’ post shortly. It will be a good time.
I actually suck at being able to say the right things. Anyhow, just wanted to say I hope you feel better soon
Thank you so much, Sophia. I think you said exactly the right thing!
That’s my biggest fear! My friend was flying and ruptured his ear drum and somehow has chronic vertigo. He has to do everything on the floor. I am always paranoid about that. I am so sorry. Anything I can do?
Have fear, my friend! It’s a hoooooorrible infliction. I ruptured both of my ear drums when I was young because I was foolish and refused to go to the doctor when I had a nasty infection…and this is what I get…frickin’ vertigo. Thank you for your thoughts. Do you want to come keep me company? Bring some beer, please. I’m getting kinda crazy sitting here alone day after day.
Did I tell ya that I actually thought I was losing my mind when I got it? I had never heard of vertigo. My twins were toddlers…. I was already dealing with severe depression and then that happened? I called the hospital crying looking for advice, I called my mom crying… I said, “all of a sudden, things just start to move… AND I’M NOT DRUNK!!!!” Ya know, I don’t necessarily mind that feeling when I’m wasted because I know why I feel that way but when vertigo sneaks up on you – you are like, WTF is happening to me?
So, my mom told me to “see a psyche” because she thought I was losing my mind. (*turned out to be the best thing I ever did) but, my girlfriend said, “YOU PROBABLY HAVE VERTIGO! GO SEE YOUR GP” – to which I did, turns out I had fluid in the ear causing vertigo. I WAS SO ‘EFFN RELIEVED.
So, I feel for you. 😦