Every year the fifth grade class at my daughter’s school has a week-long unit on sex education. My daughter is in fifth grade this year. Oh, joy!
It’s a pretty basic, straight-forward unit. The kids spend a week learning about self-confidence, grooming, puberty, reproduction, etc. At the end of the week there is an evening presentation that is to be attended by both parents and students. So, one evening we all cram into one of the little fifth grade rooms, sit in the chairs that are far too small for our adult asses and listen to the presentation. Most of the kids sit next to their parents. My daughter and several of her friends know what is coming and are too embarrassed to sit next to their parents so they pull up seats close to the front of the room.
The presentation consists of summarizing what our children have learned throughout the week, followed my a short video explaining puberty, sexual intercourse and child birth…in graphic detail. The pictures and information were shot at them so fast it left most gape-mouthed and blushing. But the boys in the back of the room…they were bursting out in fits of giggles. One of the boys was giggling so hard it was difficult to ignore. I attempted to hold in my laughter but as the boys rolled in the aisles when the words “penis”, “vagina” and “erection” were mentioned, I shook uncontrollably and a few chuckles escaped my lips. So much for being a good roll model.
By far, the best part was after the video when I happened to hear the boy sitting next to me say to his father, in a very matter-of-fact manner, “I knew all of this stuff already”. I just about choked. Turns out, the boy is on my daughter’s “Boys I Like List”. As we left the room, I tugged at her arm and whispered in her ear, “Stay away from Dxxxxx”. God, that’s ALL I need!
Two Lazy Dogs 
hahaha, oh man.
How did you get this “list” to begin with? I guess a mom knows all.
It’s a good thing you overheard what the D kid said, eh?
Good times, indeed.
My daughter is very open with me. She always tells me who is on the list…or off, depending on the day!
Yes, thankfully, I heard what D said…I’m going to keep my eye on him!
Fifth grade, huh? Doesn’t that put us in the eleven year old catagory?
I told my son the “facts of life” myself from the physical aspect. By the time I got around to the younger one that part had already filtered down from the older brother. Does Dxxxxxxx have older brothers?
If so, you should be watching this kid. He knows too much it seems for his age.
She’s ten. I did have the talk with her before they started the unit at school. She’s always been very curious and will keep asking if I don’t tell her.
Yes, Dxxxxx does have older brothers. Yikes!
In my fifth grade health class a girl asked if you could get pregnant if a boy peed on you. I wonder where Trudy is today? She later was teaching a class in the girls’ bathroom that included info re: BJ’s are easier if you cover it with dry Jell-O mix first. This was in 7th or 8th grade!
My son would have known it all before the class, too, cause I taught him before any idiotic friend could do damage. I didn’t want him to feel stupid in the presence of true morons. So far it’s worked out well. We’ll see if he follows the instructions about pre-nups. Mothering a boy gave me a completely different perspective than this time around. My girl is 11. Ack.
Oh, good God! I suppose I was learning stuff like that in 7th and 8th grade…but she just seems so much younger!
I did have the talk with her a few months before I knew she’d be subjected to sex ed in school. I wanted her to hear it from me and not some teacher. She started asking about her period last year so she was well aware of the whole female development aspect. The male development aspect…well, all she could say was, “GROSS”!
OMG – What a riot! I remember we had that in fifth grade too. Just in time for most of the girls in my class as far as getting their periods. But they keep getting them younger and younger. Yikes!
For some reason I don’t recall having sex ed until 7th grade! Everything’s happening faster these days!
Lets hope Dxxx has enough of the facts to keep it in his pants until he’s old enough to reallllly know what’s going on! But it sounds like he was proud! Ickkk! TMI!!!
It will be hard to look at him now without you thinking about that sentence of his…FOREVER!
HAHAHAHA
Precisely! He’s pretty charming from what I understand. And funny, too. Oh, brother. Momma needs to teach her to stay away from those types!
Hi 2,
Kids are growing up way too fast these days. As best I can remember that far back, in 5th grade the big topic of discussion was whether girls had cooties or not.
the Grit
ACK!!! The 5th grade?? Isn’t that still elementary school? I don’t think we had the sex talk until I was in the 7th grade.
Hahaha…..that was a bit more comprehensive than what we got; like we didn’t get the REAL sex Ed until grade 7, but for some reason our “unconventional” fourth grade teacher thought it was important to talk to us about sex “off curriculum” and show us a video on how to put a condom on a banana….hahahaha….that was awkward 🙂
I was in 5th grade when I first learned about the education. None of it stayed with me except the claymation erection in action. Holy shit; stuff dreams are made of.
I had the sex talk in the 5th grade except the boys and girls were separated and they pulled out pads (the ones with the belt) and tampons and show on manniquins how to use them. I just about had a stroke. But wait… it gets worse.
About a month after the sex talk at school, I had a dream that I got up and went to the bathroom. Obviously I didn’t because I wet the bed. The best part? My mattress had cowboys and indians on it that were brown and red, so when I peed the red showed through and I just knew I started my period. I cried and my mom laughed so hard she wasn’t even mad that I wet the bed.
Ewww, I would hate to have to go sit through that. As if you need the lesson? What’s the point of having you go again? My kids also had this..
My kids were not immaculately conceived – so yeah, I already know all about having sex.
I know so much about it, I should have offered to give the lesson *wink*
Heee-heeee! I probably would have also laughed out load too –
omg, great post!