Posts Tagged ‘Dogs’

Me Dawgs


Me Dawgs (seg 2008)

Right, so…I was at least able to do a sort of caricature of the dogs in this piece, but I went all abstract and crazy with the colors. I’ll keep trying. Honest, I will.

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Sure, everybody has a bad day, bad month, bad year…whatever. Isn’t it fair to say that sometimes we just deserve a break? Apparently, I am not getting that break. Now, I am not requesting any sympathy, nor soliciting donations, I would just simply like to tell this tale so I can get some things off my chest.

First, I break up with the boyfriend (I may as well have been in a coma for the last two frickin’ years), then the dog takes a flying leap at the window, smashes through the glass and slices his paw open (requiring stitches) and then the cat runs away (frankly, I can’t blame him, I would have run, too, if I could have). Okay…doesn’t sound so bad? Well, let me expound. The dog, my just-turned-one-year-old Golden Retriever/Yellow Lab-full-of-energy-and-determination, is required to have this massive array of bandages on his paw which he cannot get wet or dirty. Each time he has to go outside I must: 1) put the paw in a heavy duty plastic bag, wrap it with tape; 2) cover the plastic bag with a sock; 3) place yet another plastic bag over that and wrap it with more tape so it clings to his leg. Fun, fun, fun – and this procedure is carried out no less than 6-7 times per day. Just imagine how entertaining it is for me struggling with a willful, can’t-sit-still-for-longer-than-one-second pup, all the while getting tape stuck everywhere.

He also must take antibiotics three times a day and typically the last dose, which he takes at 10pm, causes stomach upset. The relentless vomiting all over my bedroom floor usually commences at 2am.

Three days after the bandage is applied he decides that he no longer wants it on his paw and rips it off. One more trip to the vet to get extra supplies of bandages and tape, and to have the wound checked. The good news – his wound is healing nicely, the bad news – the bill. Yikes. Oh, yes, and did I mention he is NOT allowed to run, jump, take walks, or otherwise be a dog for the next two weeks? Uggghhh! So, I am pretty much house bound when I really should be getting out and about trying to forget about “the breakup”.

The dilemma is how to keep him busy. I have now spent tons of money on bones, toys, and whatever I can think of to keep him busy enough to keep his mind off of chewing his bandages. Not to mention I’ve bought stock in Johnson&Johnson & Ziplock with all the medical tape, gauze, non-stick pads and plastic bags I’ve purchased thus far. Cripes, two more weeks of this!

The bandage on his paw must be throwing off his equilibrium because he has tipped over his water bowl twice in the last few days. The water pooled on the floor is unavoidable so he trots right through it necessitating yet another bandage change.

Somewhere in the midst of all of this we loose a cat. He has been missing for one week now – I think. Everything is such a blur, at this point I don’t even know what day it is. We’ve put up posters all over the neighborhood, but alas, no word about poor missing kitty. Luckily for me he was not my daughter’s favorite so she is not distraught, however, his brother misses him terribly and sits in the window waiting and wailing. Annoying.

Late yesterday afternoon as we are hurriedly getting ready for a Halloween party we get a call from a woman who says she believes she has our cat. We get our hopes up and run over to collect him only to find that it is not him, but his brother. She explains that she saw our poster and thought it looked like him. Apparently, she is legally blind because the two cats DO NOT look alike. She is pregnant so I spare her the kick in the crotch that she so obviously deserves and angrily return home.

No one has died (except maybe the cat), nothing has exploded, and my house has not burned down so I should be grateful. But I am feeling pretty shitty about being short one boyfriend, one normal dog, and one cat. I wonder if this story is over.

11/3/07 Update (not that anyone is reading this): the boyfriend is still “ex”, the dog is on the mend, and the cat was hit by a car and killed. Ugh.

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