Every year the fifth grade class at my daughter’s school has a week-long unit on sex education. My daughter is in fifth grade this year. Oh, joy!
It’s a pretty basic, straight-forward unit. The kids spend a week learning about self-confidence, grooming, puberty, reproduction, etc. At the end of the week there is an evening presentation that is to be attended by both parents and students. So, one evening we all cram into one of the little fifth grade rooms, sit in the chairs that are far too small for our adult asses and listen to the presentation. Most of the kids sit next to their parents. My daughter and several of her friends know what is coming and are too embarrassed to sit next to their parents so they pull up seats close to the front of the room.
The presentation consists of summarizing what our children have learned throughout the week, followed my a short video explaining puberty, sexual intercourse and child birth…in graphic detail. The pictures and information were shot at them so fast it left most gape-mouthed and blushing. But the boys in the back of the room…they were bursting out in fits of giggles. One of the boys was giggling so hard it was difficult to ignore. I attempted to hold in my laughter but as the boys rolled in the aisles when the words “penis”, “vagina” and “erection” were mentioned, I shook uncontrollably and a few chuckles escaped my lips. So much for being a good roll model.
By far, the best part was after the video when I happened to hear the boy sitting next to me say to his father, in a very matter-of-fact manner, “I knew all of this stuff already”. I just about choked. Turns out, the boy is on my daughter’s “Boys I Like List”. As we left the room, I tugged at her arm and whispered in her ear, “Stay away from Dxxxxx”. God, that’s ALL I need!
Two Lazy Dogs 