What a Pain in the Back

I have been getting painting job after painting job after painting job. I can’t complain because this is what I wanted. I’m making far more cash than I ever did at my restaurant. Go figure. But, what I didn’t want, however, was to be injured on the job. It appears that on this last job – which consisted of priming and painting a gazillion miles of oak trim - I somehow managed to contort and twist in such a manner that I pulled the muscles in my lower back. I didn’t notice it right away, but as soon as I was finished with the job and could relax, that’s when the pain set in. Not only do I have some nasty bruises on my knees from crawling around on them all week (wish I could blame it on my night job - you know…the one where I’m a porn star?) but now I have to contend with a bad back. Shit, just add me to the list of walking wounded.

My next job starts Tuesday so I need to doctor myself this weekend and make sure I’m on the mend. So….there will be no cooking, no cleaning, no doing laundry, no washing dishes, no gardening, no walking the dogs, no nothing this weekend. I’m going to lay flat on my back, computer on my lap, books and magazines and tv remote at my side (GASP…I haven’t watched tv in about a month). And it looks like I will have to forego the diet this weekend as we will be ordering out. Mmmm…pizza. I can’t wait. It’s all good, though. I’ve dropped 10 lbs. thus far, yipee-tie-yie-yay! Now, if I could only find someone to go and grab me a triple shot latte I’d be all set. Can’t one of you fantastic souls out there in blogland figure out some way to get a fine coffee drink to my door? Thanks, I’d appreciate it very much-ly!

Oh…and I mustn’t forget - Happy Mother’s Day to all you Mothas out there!

The New Fiver

I’m wondering when the new $10 bill will be coming out. You know, the one that reads “Good for one gallon of milk and 8 oz. of cheese”.

Feisty Friday

Owie

When you live in a house with a 9 yr. old, 2 dogs and a cat you’re bound to have some turmoil. At least once a week I’m required to diffuse a dog vs. cat situation. Our 95 lb. lab, Gus, loves the cat and will sniff, nuzzle and pretty much get along with him. The Border Collie, Ridley, on the other hand, has a taste for pussy (come on, I couldn’t resist!). Several times a week the cat - who is very docile AND dimwitted - comes downstairs and presents himself to the dogs. We’ve had the cat for almost three years so it’s no news to him that dogs live in this house, nor is it news to him that Ridley will attack him. I believe the cat must either enjoy being harassed or has some type of memory loss. As soon as the Borderline Collie sees the cat it is all out war. He chases him into a corner or oftentimes manages to grab him by the neck and drag him until I come to the cat’s rescue.

Yesterday morning while I was making coffee the cat suddenly shows up at my feet. He begins to entwine himself between my legs, purring and meowing. I’m not sure how he managed to slink downstairs without the dogs noticing but it only took seconds for them to realize that he was within mauling distance. Ridley immediately cornered him in the bathroom, Gus followed to watch the pursuit. The cat was on the back of the toilet and had nowhere to go. I came to his rescue, snatched him up and proceeded to carry him above my head like so:

The dogs, of course, think this is a game so they run after me, jumping, barking and trying desparately to get the cat. I am usually able to make it to the stairs where I drop the cat off on the hightest available step so he can quickly retreat to his upstairs lair. This time I was, apparently, not quick enough because at some point Ridley jumped at my hip, digging his claw into my side. It hurt like a mofo but I didn’t realize how much damage was caused until this morning as I was climbing into the shower. I have a full length mirror in my bathroom (stop thinking dirty thoughts) and out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash of purple and red and….this is what it was:

Yowzer. He got me good. This is the culprit:

Looking sheepish and innocent. Don’t let him fool you. He’s a maniac. Oh, you’re probably wondering how the cat fared. I managed to toss him high enough up the stairs and he got away unscathed. His rescuer, on the other hand, gets to wear the battle wound - a fancy new bruise.

The Boys Will Be A Knockin’

I helped myself to this fancy shmancy thingyamajigger via the lovely soul over at Smoke & Mirrors and thought I’d give it a whirl. Whadayathink? I’m totally hedging bets that the men will be beating my door down - now that they know I look like Charlize Theron and Teri Hatcher. Bah! Nice try.

Hey…try it, you’ll like it.